Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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