help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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