pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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