the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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