Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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