he puts the penis in happiness.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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