I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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