That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
