the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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