just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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