and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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