Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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