She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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