Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize