Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
