wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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