Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize