please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
