I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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