Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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