Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
