i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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