No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
