Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
