I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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