She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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