Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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