i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize