My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
