Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
