We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
