I'm pants shitting drunk right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
