What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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