Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize