I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
