Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize