I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
