fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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