Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize