I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
