i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do vagina's smell?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
