The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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