if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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