I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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