I am in a vortex of obligation.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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