its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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