he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
