remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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