He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
