I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
