onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize