Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
