I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
