You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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