Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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